blogsNH - Half a Year - Comments

Hey Neighbor

Linda Odum — Mon, 7 Jul 2008 09:22:13 -0400

Elaine,

It was great to hear from you. Thanks for all of the kind thoughts. Painting is not one of my talents, but it still may be fun to try. Keep in touch.

Linda

New beginnings

morsel81 — Thu, 3 Jul 2008 21:46:31 -0400

I was so sorry to hear of your 'doings' of the past several months. Hang in there, sounds like you have a great support system. Wayne and are living in Chichester and the kids in Hillsboro are having a grand time with the toys in the yard and having a house for my grandbabies. Crystle is actually showing interest in gardening. I miss all of my flowers and such too. You were looking for a good chinese restaurant - Fusion on Loudon Road isn't bad-they deliver. Also, give ManYee a try at McKee Square. They are yummy too. My sister and I paint at Your Fired at the Lamplighter Plaza every Thursday from 5-9pm (ladies night). Come join us, it's great therapy. Thinking of you. Elaine Emerson

No minimum

Ken Braiterman — Mon, 19 May 2008 19:37:05 -0400

I know of no legal minimum. That might vary with different funds. I think the practical minimum would be $5 or $10 thousand.

It's the joy that counts

Linda Odum — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:39:57 -0400

Yes, Terri, it is the small joys that help me through. As my marriage headed towards its end, I tried to find joy anyplace I could, and that has continued on. I hope it is something I will always do.

What is a little strange for me is being the recipient of other people's kindness. I was always the one who took care of everyone, who did all she could to help friend and stranger alike. It is hard for me to be on the receiving end of kindness. I had one friend these past few months who did so much for me, a lot of it simple things like making sure I had a can opener or giving me part of his stash of English tea. I didn't quite know how to react to his kindness, and often thought I might not have done a good job expressing my appreciation.

Hopefully I will continue to help others when I can, even if it is just making sure I listen to a friend talk about her problems instead of just dumping mine on her. Or helping a kid at the store who is short 10 cents for the candy he wants to buy. My real hope is to one day be in a position where I can help others in a more significant way.

Small joys

Terri Oberg — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:34:24 -0400

When I first left my husband with my daughter, our clothes and little else, it was the little pleasures that got me through the enormous pain, lonliness and fear. A kitten made us laugh and her purr helped ease the ache of lonliness. Warm cookies fresh out of the oven and the smell of bread baking filled me with a feeling of accomplishment. Dancing to my favorite music while cleaning expelled pent up frustration and fear. Standing over my child's crib, enhaling her scent as she slept, filled me with unspeakable love and devotion. Getting a new haircut made me feel pretty again.

Although I haven't experienced that kind of lonliness and fear in years, I still find joy in the smallest of things. When I put the bird bath in our side yard, visible from our kitchen window, I didn't realize how much joy it would bring just to see the birds lining up to splash around in my garden. The Cardinal pair who visit our yard are beautiful beyond words. Our kitten, now a 16 year old, still brings a feeling of contentment when she lays on my chest and purrs. The apple trees and lilacs fill me with hope of more beauty to come. My son covered in dirt and grease from attempting to fix his bicycle himself (I am quite proud of his accomplishments lately). A card from my daughter. And being able to give some of it back is wonderful too. I've been that person who has cleared the snow off someone else's car. I've been the person in line at the grocery store who came up with the extra couple of dollars someone in front of me needed. I've been the person who paid the toll for the car behind me on the highway. These acts bring even more satisfaction than when I've been the recipient.

tips

Linda Odum — Mon, 19 May 2008 13:51:01 -0400

Thanks for the tips, Ken. A big chunk of the money is going to pay off debt, which I know is a good thing to do. Then I want to put some aside as emergency savings. After that, there won't be much left, but perhaps enough to invest in something to give a little more security. Is there a minimum that can be invested in a bond fund? I wish I would have enough to make a house down payment--that is my favorite way to invest. But I guess that will have to wait a while.

Don't spend your settlement

Ken Braiterman — Mon, 19 May 2008 12:37:26 -0400

I don't know what kind of money your divorce settlement is, but if it's more than $10,000 in a lump sum, don't spend it.

If you can make a large enough downpayment on a house to live with a low enough monthly mortgage payment, this is an excellent time to buy. It won't appreciate in value right away, but if you know you're going to stay six years or more, you'll do very well. That's how I made my nestegg in the last real estate bust when the other Bush was president.

Another idea is to invest the money in a bond fund that generates the highest possible monthly income. Your principal will stay in tact forever and throw off that monthly income for you to live on. Mine is called Vanguard Hi Yield Corporate, but other mutural fund companies have high yield bond funds as well. For you, bonds are better than stocks because bond values stay much more stable, and so do their monthly yields.

If you try to live on money like this, it will be gone in a matter of months. That's why they call this money "keeping money."

Half a Year

Linda Odum — Sun, 18 May 2008 09:27:30 -0400

It is hard for me to believe that I've been living on my own for almost 6 months. Half a year!

When I first moved out in December, I was so busy adjusting to my new life that I never really looked back at the old one. Then spring came, and I began to miss my Hillsboro house with the gardens I had worked so hard to establish through the past 10 years. A little internal calendar went off, telling me that my crocus, daffodils, bleeding hearts, and peonies were waking up. It is also the time of year when the neighborhood comes out of hibernation and everyone would start to congregate outside, most of the time on my front lawn. I spent a couple of sad weeks thinking about what I was missing.