Civil Unions and Red Tape in Connecticut

Justin Drake — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 00:03:09 -0400

There was an interesting article in The New York Times earlier this week about some of the challenges couples are currently facing under Connecticut's civil unions legislation. The article profiles several couples who entered into civil unions in the state, and talks about some of their experiences since tying the knot, for lack of a better term. While civil unions grant all of the same state rights and responsibilities of marriage on paper (they are not recognized by the federal government), in practice things get a little messy at times.

According to couples interviewed for the story, some have encountered frustrating situations on account of being civilly unionized as opposed to being married. I was struck by how simple, yet profound, some of the problems were that they encountered.

For example, when one lesbian couple was in the hospital (one of the mothers was giving birth to their son), a hospital employee asked the rather innocuous question of whether she was single, married, divorced, or widowed. When the mother replied that she was in a civil union, the hospital employee, for lack of better options, checked single. The mother protested that she was "actually more married than single." A simple problem, yes, but a sign that civil unions still aren't really understood, and aren't included in things as simple as standard forms asking for relationship status yet.

Another example, of a situation I had never pondered before, came when a man in a civil union was interviewing for a job as a teacher. When the interviewer asked the seemingly harmless question of whether or not he was married, the man felt pressured to say that he was in a civil union, and had to explain exactly what that meant. In that sense, he was forced to come out as a gay man right then and there, instead of just simply saying "married," which could have stopped the line of questioning cold.

Despite minor bumps like these along the way, there are also big considerations such as filing jointly for taxes, which go beyond uncomfortable situations and actually hit couples in civil unions in their wallets. In one couple's case, one woman had to pay $6,000 extra in federal taxes on her partner's health insurance plan (that was provided by her workplace). Experts in the article attributed this issue to disconnects between state and federal tax laws caused by the Defense of Marriage Act that defines marriage as between a man and a woman at the federal level.

I'd be interested to hear if the civil union experience is any different here in New Hampshire, or if couples are beginning to face similar inconveniences and uncomfortable moments. Either way, this goes to illustrate that although good-intentioned, civil unions are still an inherently separate and unequal institution to marriage. Hopefully in the years to come we'll be able to clear up some of the red tape, and in turn treat same-sex couples with the same dignity attributed automatically to their heterosexual counterparts.

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Civil Unions and Red Tape in Connecticut