Post Holiday Thoughts

With the Holidays behind us, I feel as though a weight has been lifted.  We kept it simple again this year, but I still find the end of year too stressful to thoroughly enjoy.  I made a pact with my S.O. that next year we will spread the spending and planning out over several months instead of waiting until two weeks prior to the Holidays. Besides Christmas, my S.O. and I have 6 members of our immediate families celebrating birthdays in the 4 months leading up to the end of December.  Better planning seems like a good goal.

I feel fortunate that in my immediate family there is not a whole lot of drama and family conflicts to interfere with the Holidays.  It was peaceful in our house throughout the Holiday season. The same could not be said of households outside the circle of our immediate family.  One incident in particular that started as confusion over ownership of a pair of ski pants, quickly deteriorated into an all out power struggle that ended in angry, hurt feelings and name calling.  What makes people behave in this childish manner at a time when family and peace should abound?  There has to be far more to the issue than a pair of child's ski pants. 

Some might even say my S.O. and I are boring.  A co-worker mentioned her family plans a while ago and how she was glad to be going to her family's gathering because it's far more entertaining than going to her husband's family gatherings.  Likewise, the family gatherings at our house probably seem very subdued compared to the festivities of other households.  We hosted a Christmas brunch on Christmas morning, spent the afternoon with my parents, and my S.O.'s brothers came to Christmas dinner on Saturday, but all three events were pleasantly laid back. 

Young children probably make for a more chaotic, festive Holiday season and our children are, for the most part, teens or older (one with a new home and in-laws to distract him). With both our families the survivors of "broken homes", there are numerous places our children have to be during the Holidays.  With one parent claiming the children on Christmas Eve, the other parent having Christmas day and feeling the pull of other extended family invitations, it becomes difficult to keep the festivities rolling for a long period of time.  It is a juggling act that I am sure is common in most American homes these days.  My S.O. and I decided a long time ago that keeping it simple was the best way to make it easier on ourselves and our children.  Our Christmas brunch may be short and "boring", but it leaves plenty of time for the rest of the family to make the rounds and create their own new family traditions.  The son with a new house hosted a New Year's Eve bash that lasted all weekend and included numerous family and friends.  It has all the markings of a new family tradition. 

I am sure as the family grows, the traditions will change and grow as well.  The key is in the expectations and planning.  I am content to let someone else have the headaches and stress involved in planning a big festive family gathering.  Some people seem better suited to the task.  I prefer to be on the sidelines.  I don't mind being labeled as the "boring" part of the family.  It is far better than dealing with issues arising out of a pair of ski pants.