Nothing Doing
I have this week off from work. I needed it. My yearly December Bah-Humbug attitude was spilling over into all aspects of my life. I found myself being irritated by all things great and small.
I usually find it hard to spend a day doing nothing. Guilt usually sets in. There are just way too many things that need to get done and doing "nothing" is wasteful time, wasteful energy. The first part of my vacation was busy with Christmas activities and family gatherings. However, since Sunday I have practiced doing "nothing". I have aimlessly surfed the internet, revised my Netflix queue, finished putting together my Patriots football 2007 season scrapbook I started a year ago, watched bad TV, started reading the new Stephen King book (I thought the man was going to stop writing, HA!), updated my Myspace page that had been stuck in the same mode for several months and listened to music.
My S.O.'s daughter is home from College for the Holidays and is up and about everyday, packing in all sorts of activities and outings in her day. We have seen little of her these last couple of weeks. Even now, as I sit typing drinking the last of my morning coffee watching the snow fall, she is busy getting her day going, paying bills, showering, preparing for a day with friends celebrating the New Year. I have yet to even get to a shower. I ignore the little voices in my head reminding me "you should be" from my "to do" lists. There are fish tanks that need tending, dirty clothes that need cleaning, a 12 year old's room needing to be fumigated, boxes in the attic that were never unpacked from my move here 3 years ago, Christmas decorations to pack away, a lunch date that I promised to call about and now snow that needs to be moved to more convenient areas. It really is a wonder that I haven't started getting butt sores from all the non-activity I've been practicing. Although I did manage to get out to take my 12 year old to the WWE show in Manchester on Monday for his birthday.
I tell myself I am just taking "me time" to rejuvenate. Reading is not "nothing". Listening to music should be done more often. Blogging, Myspace and scrapbooking are helping me reconnect with friends and my own creative pulls. My goal is to return to the hectic calls of an action packed life in 4 days, 17 hours and 45 minutes feeling refreshed and non-irritable. The hard part will be looking back on this week and knowing that the time I spent doing "nothing" was actually worthwhile and productive.
"Yea Right" grumbles that little voice. I should perhaps practice turning on the mute button in my head more often.
Happy New Year.
Thank you, I enjoy reading your posts as well.
I have slowly become more active since writing this post. Been to doctor's appointments, spent New Year's Eve with a few of my S.O.'s friends (one in particular whom I always viewed as a bit of a grumpy, cantankerous fellow, but was delighted to discover he's not so bad), started taking down the holiday decorations and made 2 trips to Best Buy in an attempt to find a new power adapter for my laptop after my dog chewed up the old one. There are still a couple of days left in which I will attempt to get myself back into the usual routine. I feel a bit more stable since my days of decompressing. I know in my heart that I needed these empty days with nothing on my plate, it is my guilty conscience that I must convince and keep at bay.
I almost look forward to returning to work....almost.
I've been going through the same thing myself all week, and this year, it's been epspecially hard for some reason. This year, we both shut down right after Christmas, which makes sense because Christmas is so stressful and tiring for so many reasons. I had a few bad days the week before Christmas as well this year, which is unusual for me.
You've wisely given yourself permission to "go down" for a while, with a general idea of when you need to be back to whatever is "normal" for you again. Meanwhile, you're doing easy, pleasant things you enjoy while your system repairs itself. You are not putting undue pressure on yourself to do things you normally do that are difficult right now.
One common way of dealing with the holiday blues (which I think makes them worse) is drinking too much on New Year's Eve. But any fun activity with friends for New Year, without too much alcohol, is a great piece of a Christmas blues plan. Since I was my family's guest on Christmas, I'll be taking them out to dinner on New Year's Day. That's something we all enjoy.
HappyNew Year. I love your posts.