My Dilemma
Originally submitted July 11, 2006:
Here is my dilemma. The word boyfriend. Whenever I use it to refer to my, well...boyfriend, I feel like Frau Blucher in "Young Frankenstein" ("he was my...boyfriend"). It just seems like such a juvenile word. Since I have no intention of marrying him just so I can call him "husband", I would like to figure out just what I could call him (I mean besides, "hot man of mine"). Of course there is S.O. which seems to be the P.C. way of doing things these days. But is sounds so impersonal ("This is my S.O., so-and-so"). Or we could put it at the end, like tacking on PhD at the end of a name, and make it sound highly pompous ("Let me introduce you to so-and-so, S.O."). Although, I could come up with some sort of dramatic background music and make it sound like I’m introducing Magnum, P.I. Side note: For those who don’t know, S.O. stands for Significant Other and not Silly Orangutan (though some people who know my S.O. may think it describes him perfectly...) or Slimy Oyster. There is also Partner, or Life Partner. How gay is that? Oops, sorry no offense intended. In this day and age, this phrase does bring to mind a certain lifestyle which I do not participate. Besides, it sounds so business-like ("Terri and Bob, Partners in Personal Injury Activities"). I knew someone who would occasionally refer to her man-friend as her "playmate". It was good for a chuckle anyway. Which brings us to, Mate. Rather animalistic (or Aussie). There’s always Lover. Too obvious, and usually inappropriate (although it might be fun at a hoity-toity party). It sounds too much like bragging, and like it should be followed up with a sickening display of P.D.A. Sweetie comes to mind. And leaves quickly. Honeybun. Same fate. So this is my dilemma. I suppose I really don’t have to call him anything other then Bob. However, that could make conversations a little trickier. "I was walking through WalMart with Bob..." "Who’s Bob?" "Bob is Bob." "Bob who?" Suddenly I feel like I’m trapped in an Abbott and Costello skit. But I know someone whose daughter refers to herself in the third person ("Emma needs a donut"). We could start a whole new trend. Maybe I’ll just stick with "Man of Mine". love this blog and share your problem. » login or register to post comments
if you figure this one out, let me know. if i think of anything (other than all that you've mentioned), i'll let you know.
There's always "my other
Submitted by Bri Andlinger on July 11, 2006 - 22:15.
There's always "my other half"... I tend to like that one, just because it's not "boyfriend" and it's not "significant other"... though I have no problem referring to my boyfriend as exactly that - my boyfriend, though that is probably because I'm on the younger end of us bloggers. Just a thought! I'll be interested to see what you come up with! :) ~Bri » login or register to post comments
I'm in the same situation
Submitted by Susan Inman Davis on July 12, 2006 - 17:19.
I'm in the same situation as you, Terri. I'm so confused because to call him my 'boyfriend' sounds like I'm stuck in my 20's, rather than being in my 40's. And less mature, also. I'd always expected that at this age, I'd be married and settled down. OK, maybe just married. I'm working on the being settled down. I've lately referred to Al as 'my other half'. Lots of people mistake us for being married because I say this. The only place where this backfires for me is the Doctor's office or the hospital, and that is because of the stupid HIPPA privacy act. They always want me to clarify my relationship to Al. And saying I'm his girlfriend seems not to encompass the totallity of our relationship. We are partners, in business and in life. I pay the bills, he creates them (only kidding!). We don't make any decisions without the other. We agree on almost everything, and are a team. So my dilemma with the term 'girlfriend' is that it can be misinterpreted as running the gamut from 'someone i'm just having a fun time between the sheets with' to 'my parter in life'. »
And how do I accurately convey to someone on the other side of the phone the totallity of this relationship, when they can't get past 'you're not really family because you're not married, are you?'
This is one issue which really frustrates me.
Thanks for the laugh
I would hazard a guess that most men would look pretty silly wearing a woman's coat or her jewlery. Besides all any of that is just a declaration to the rest of the world (who cares anyway) that "she's mine". It's all about possession and conquest, don't you think? I might be able to get my man to wear a shirt declaring him all mine, as long as it had pictures of fish, or some camo on it too. He has declared his undying love for me by naming his boat "Terri's Fault" and carving "I love Terri" in the side of his garage. I'm tickled pink, but it's not easy to carry that kind of stuff around. Meanwhile, I must admit that the only thing I've given him to declare my undying love is a batch of oatmeal/cranberry cookies every once in a while and a trip to Cabela's in Pennsylvania. Then again, he does get to tramp around in the woods every weekend, all weekend, chasing furry animals without so much as a nasty face from me. How's that for declaring my love?
eyes and kisses
I never wanted jewelry or a coat. But, I would guess that he can see your love in your eyes and feel your love in your kisses. I've never been a hunter, I have fished some, and I only get interested in sports when a championship is at stake. I always cheer for the winner and that can go back and forth during one game. No matter how it comes out, I win. dan
Right off the bat, I don't have a word in mind that will help you. I keep coming back to boyfriend. Even though "juvenile" it says what you want. What word would say something more than boyfriend but less than husband?
It took me back to junior high school in the 1960's. The first thing I rmember if a girl was special that a guy would give her his ring with his initial on it. I can't remember the girl giving me anything. Next was the men's bracelet that she would wear. Again, I didn't get anything. I can remember my initial ring on a necklace. I didn't get a necklace. Then, when I had a "letter" coat from playing football, my girlfriend of the moment would wear that. I froze, or had to wear a normal jacket. I didn't get a coat. In college, we called it being "pinned", from there , if I remember right, I remember a nice ring that said that the girl was special, but it wasn't an engagement ring. It was a ring just before engagement ring. It meant that the two of you were in a very special relationship. Then, at last, it was the engagement ring. Then wedding ring.
So the way I see it, your special guy gets nothing. On the otherhand, if you will wear all the above items with the exception of the engagement and wedding ring, maybe most people our age will know what's going on between you two. You will wind up saying "I wear all this stuff because he," then you point or cast your eye his way, " is my boyfriend." (mumble the word boyfriend, we will all understand)
Maybe you could call him your "precious" and howl at the moon. Or you could get matching shirts that say "He's mine/she's mine" or maybe "....close..." or maybe "Not exactly on the market" or maybe " off limits" You could introduce him as your "off limits" friend. I could go on and on with this.
Who knows, maybe you will start an old craze into a new one. We could go into business! You know bumper stickers, initial rings, maybe a new ring that both of you could wear and folks would know that you two are extra close.
:-) Dan