Green Eyed Sinner
She acts like a jealous woman. I'm not sure why since he's not hers to begin with, but I suppose that is telling in itself. Although, if one were to delve deeper into the topic, jealousy concerns something one already has and is afraid of losing while envy concerns something one wishes to have but does not. Either way, it has been going on for quite some time now, and only seems to be waxing rather than waning, as though her jealousy is feeding off of itself.
As an outsider looking in, the one thing that I've come to believe is she is the one with the problem, not him or her rival. These intense feelings have a firm grip of her and she lets them guide her in her thought process and decision making. One cannot help feeling mystified pity for her. These destructive thoughts are bringing her moral and trust crashing in on her while leaving little damage on the object of her jealousy. She is a pitiful presentation and doesn't recognize what this emotion is doing to her. In all likelihood, she would be shocked to hear me refer to her in this way. Although, she may not recognize the emotions brewing, it is one which burns with such intensity others have no trouble spotting it.
There is a reason envy is considered one of the seven deadly sins. It is interesting to see how this sin feeds and connects into the others. She is practicing pride in that she feels she is more deserving than her "rival". She exhibits anger in her determination to covet that which is not even hers to begin with. Her anger stews and simmers into resentment and harsh thoughts and words follow.
We've all experienced jealousy at one time or another in our lives. It's part of being human and experiencing emotions. What we do with these emotions is what ultimately defines who we are and how we are perceived. Like anger, jealousy doesn't have to be a "bad" emotion if it is used as a motivator to improve ones situation. However, also like anger, one would have to recognize the emotion in order to put the energy into positive thought and action. Jealousy can be like a strong work horse. Let it have free reign and chaotic destruction ensues, guide it through with thought and restraint and wondrous things grow, which is why thought (prudence) and restraint (temperance) are considered cardinal virtues.
The difficulty, as always, is in recognizing the emotion. It is a hard thing to do when in the thick of the forest, but the rewards will enrich and enhance one's life. Behavior born of a knee jerk reaction to the intensity of jealousy reeks of insecurity and immaturity. Behavior born of harnessed thoughtful introspect brings peace of mind, inner strength and a clearer picture of what is and isn't important.
Many years ago I was being groomed as an assistant manager for a small store in a mall. One day my manager pulled me out into the mall to sit on the bench in front of the store. He told me to just observe the store. We sat for quite some time. Seeing the interactions from outside the store was enlightening. This new perspective allowed me to see what our customers saw and to understand what was working and what wasn't' working. It was a powerful lesson I have never forgotten; one I think about often in my personal life as well as business. I haven't always been very good at stepping outside of myself to see how the rest of the world perceives me, but when I am able to do it and I don't like what I see, I find the courage to change (and courage is the guise for another virtue; fortitude).
If only she could see how resentful and immature she appears whenever she spews forth her venomous thoughts, while her "rival", who seems oblivious to this woman's venom, continues on her merry journey and is much more fun to be around.
