Mourning the Past (plus writing class info)

I read in a magazine recently that when a relationship ends, there is a period of mourning that we all need to go through. It's healthy, part of letting go of "we" and learning to be "I" again. Trying to remain friends with your ex can only prolong the mourning period, as can moving into a new relationship too soon.

Since I've never been divorce before, I need some advice from some of you who have "been there, done that." How long does it take to stop looking backwards and start looking forwards?

Typically I am not one to dwell in the past. I'm always looking ahead with an optimist belief that there is a bright and happy future to come. As a freelance writer, I have to believe that or every rejection and dip in my income would just be too discouraging. However, lately I find myself venturing into the "what if" territory. You know-"what if I had handled that situation differently, would thing have turned out differently?"

Now, let me make clear, I don't want my marriage back. I am much happier with my life now than I was before, and I think my ex is happier with his life, too. But I still look back at the mistakes I made and wonder if I had done things differently, would we have been able to be happy together. Ah-even as I typed that last sentence, I knew the answer was no.

Is it natural to spent time looking back? I don't do it all of the time. Most days I'm so busy working for my today and tomorrow that I don't dwell on yesterday. I suppose someday when I look back I will only remember some of the fun times and not feel the cloud of unhappiness that hung over the past few years.

I would be happy to hear your experiences. Perhaps I can learn from them. How did you move on once the divorce was final? What help you let go of the past-or at least the unhappy parts-and move forward with the future?

Okay-new topic:

I am one again teaching writing classes through Concord Community Ed. This semester I will do 3:

Introduction to Freelance Writing: Have you ever dreamed of seeing your byline in print? Introduction to Freelance Writing will teach you how to sell articles to magazines and newspapers. We will discuss a wide variety of topics, including generating ideas; finding a market for your work; writing a query letter; and understanding a contract. Classes will also cover the business side of writing as well as freelance opportunities in the marketing and public relations fields. Classes begin Tuesday, 9/16, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. for 5 weeks.

Creative Writing: Is there a writer inside you just dying to come out? This class will ignite your creativity, whether you are a beginner, professional, or somewhere in between. Each evening will feature exercises to spark the imagination and open your mind to new writing ideas. Be sure to bring a pen and plenty of paper, but leave your writing fears at home. The goal of this class is to teach students to turn off their inner critic and let the words flow onto the paper. I also encourage students to share their work in this friendly, non-judgmental setting. Classes begin Wednesday, 9/17, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. for 6 weeks.

Freelance-Creative Writing II: For those who have taken one or both of the other classes, we will continue to build on what we previously learned so each student can reach their writing potential, whether it is fiction, non-fiction, poetry, etc. Classes begin Monday, 9/15, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. for 5 weeks.

I would love to see you in one of these classes. For more informtion and tuition costs, or to sign-up, call 225-0804, e-mail class@csd.k12.nh.us, or go to the Community Ed office at Concord High in the Auditorium foyer.