How We See Ourselves

My ego took a bit of a blow this weekend. I'll spare you the not-so-pretty details. Let's just say I discovered that someone close to me doesn't appreciate what I have to offer in the looks department. It stunned me because I have always been in the "pretty in spite of being fat" category my whole life, and I thought that person saw me that way. It was quite a shock to find out the opposite.

Do we let how other people see us have too much influence on how we see ourselves? I mentioned a couple of posts ago that when you lose weight, you start feeling pretty good about how you look, mainly because you feel so much better about yourself. Then something comes along, such as a photograph or a comment from another person, that brings back all of the insecurities and negative self images that you are trying to put in the past.

Since this weekend, I have gone between indulging in a self-pity feast to feeling angry about what that person said. (Yes, I spoke to them about it, but they brushed it off as not meaning anything.) The thing is, no amount of weight loss is going to change how that person sees me, because I've realized it is more about the type of woman they find attractive, which is the opposite of who I am.

How do you deal with something like this? I worked out some of my frustration at the gym, and then came to the conclusion that I'm not going to let how that person sees me change how I see myself. Do you have any other suggestions?