A New Year

Happy New Year! I'm sorry I've been so out of touch. For me, new is the operative word, since my life has taken on a new direction in the past few months. The biggest change is that my husband and I have separated. One month ago I moved from my house in Hillsboro to a small studio condo in Concord. I'll save you all the gruesome details, though my marriage didn't end for the traumatic reasons many of you have posted about in your own lives. It was more because we are different types of people who had different life goals and were just making each other very unhappy.

Amazingly, I've lost 8 pounds since the Let's Get Real column ended in September. That's significant for me since I turn to food when I'm stressed, and believe me these past few months have been extremely stressful. I found myself turning to comfort foods-mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, hamburgers, and barbecue. (I'm from Kansas City where barbecue is a religion.) I didn't get a lot of exercise since it was hard to fit in gym time while working four jobs. But, I kept listening to my body. I wouldn't eat until I was hungry and stopped when I was full. If I ate too much, I didn't eat again until I was really hungry. Once again, those simple principals proved to be true. In the past couple of years I've lost almost 50 pounds. It's slow, but I feel that I will never see those numbers on the scale again.

They say that when a door closes, somewhere a window opens. For me, a lot of windows opened in the form of my friends. While going through the worst of times, my friends were there for me. Some of them are friends from the past few years who are now walking that precarious line of being my friend while also being friends with my husband. Still, they are supportive of me and my feelings. I'm hoping to make things as easy for them as possible and not put them in difficult situations.

Others are friends who I've had contact with off and on through the years. Some are long distance friends with whom e-mail is essential. Others are local friends with whom I had the occasional lunch/dinner/drink. All of them immediately rallied to show their support when things got difficult.

Then there are the three friends I'd lost track of who came back into my life when I needed them most. One I would talk with on the phone about once a year or so. The other two I'd completely lost touch with until they tracked me down via the World Wide Web.

This friendship support system has helped me survive. Some have been through what I'm going through and let me know there is life after divorce. Some provide a distraction from the lonely, painful times. All have shown their unconditional support and helped me remember who I am. (It's funny how easy it is to lose your self.) Thank you.

My resolutions for 2008:

One is to be a better friend by being as supportive to them as they have been to me.

Two is to have more fun.

Three is to post more on this blog.

Those are resolutions I know I can keep.