Into the Closet While Out in Public?
A recent letter featured in the Concord Monitor got me thinking about a topic I’ve had on the back burner for a while now. The writer expressed disgust for a photo in the Concord Monitor that showed two men kissing in front of the State House. He said a public place wasn’t suitable for two people of the same sex to show their affection for one another, and that their sexuality is best kept in the bedroom. Should same-sex couples step back into the closet once they step outside of their homes?
On a personal level I find this thought rather upsetting. If a heterosexual couple is allowed to kiss in public, why should a homosexual couple not be allowed to? In neither case did the individuals involved choose their sexual orientation. I’m not condoning lewd displays of public affection, but a quick kiss is commonplace in restaurants, on the streets, and at the movies in our culture. I don’t see how the sexual orientation of the two participants should be offensive to anyone around them. It’s just a small show of affection between two people in love.
This made me think of times that I’ve been out with my boyfriend, and have been on the receiving end of long stares and whispered comments. Most times it’s for something as simple as holding his hand while walking down the street, or putting my arm around his shoulder while sitting in a restaurant. It’s not the most pleasant experience to feel like you’re constantly being watched by others, and talked about, just because of an innate part of who you are.
I think instead of lashing out against gay and lesbian individuals, one needs to take a look inside themselves and figure out why such a display would be offensive to them. Would you feel the same way if Grandpa Joe and Grandma Sue were sharing a quick peck on the street corner? So long as a couple is not doing anything lewd in public, I don’t see why the gender combination of the couple really matters, unless there is a deeper bias underneath the surface.
It’s important for the health and well-being of gay and lesbian individuals that they can live their lives openly, which includes living their relationships openly. Forcing gay and lesbian couples back into the closet when they’re out in public is a terrible thought, and will not further the understanding by others that needs to take place. The love between two people of the same sex is no different than that felt between two people of the opposite sex. In the end, it’s just two pairs of lips meeting, showing the love felt between two individuals.
Re: The same?
Very good point, Dan, and thanks for your comment! I think understanding is definitely a two way street, and no one should be singled out for who they are, whether it be on the basis of religion, race, gender, or sexual orientation. On your point, I certainly don't think it's okay, especially for a teacher, to single out your daughter due to her religious beliefs.
I suppose it is human nature to notice things that are different, and at times even to stare because of those differences. There is a fine line between staring out of human nature, though, and staring to the point of being rude. I think it's natural to notice differences in others, but the next step is how you act towards others based on those differences.
On the one hand you can stare, whisper, or single someone out based on their differences, or you can smile, nod, or enter into a discussion. I think the latter choices are certainly more productive.
Justin, I understand your point. The fact is that most of our society have been staring for as long as I can remember. I have seen no rush by main stream American society to change in this area. My daughter went to Concord High school. She had a few painful memories of a homosexual male teacher who would not accept her Christian faith and her feelings about heterosexuality. He gave a normally quiet young girl a very difficult few months. I could do nothing to help her. So there is good and bad on both sides of the issue.