The New Border

I have been crossing the Canadian/American border for 45 years.

As a kid I remember trips to the USA from Canada where standard interviews at border crossings dealt mainly with the subject of where you were going, and how long your visit would be.

In 1966, it didn't matter if you brought a cooler full of ham sandwiches, and fruit, or a beer for a leg-stretch-rest-stop-pit-stop-lunch-stop on your way to your destination.

In the early 70's, I remember my mother buying a TV in Portsmouth for half the cost of what the same model retailed for in Quebec. She arrived at the Canadian Customs on her way back to Montreal, and declared her purchase without having one guard check the contents in the trunk of our car.

Short trips to the States have always led Canadians to tempt fate and find creative ways to bring back cheap purchases without having to go through the scrutiny of border checks and duty fees.

Some people wear no shoes on their feet on their way down. These same people would come back with one new pair in their travel bag and another new pair on their feet. Others would carefully wear several layers of new clothing, or stuff as much as they could into the empty space of their car's spare tire.

For years all you had to do was select and flash a few receipts of trivial purchases and you would be waived on with no questions asked.

9/11 has changed all that.

On the Friday before Labor Day 2002, it took me over three hours to cross the Vermont border into the US. The scrutiny was something I understood. After patiently waiting my turn in an endless line of cars, I knew the world had changed when a border guard spent 15 minutes sifting through the van ahead of me, pulling a pile of luggage apart. He ended up dragging a cooler out onto the pavement and opened it. He quickly reached in, pulled out an orange and threw it into a trash bin.

I sat there wide-eyed, watching this display, and replayed the memories from my youth while coming to terms with a new understanding of the long standing laws that prohibited the transportation of meat, citrus fruit, and potted plants into the United States from Canada.

On Mother's Day 2004 I was living in New Hampshire, and had just received my permanent residency papers. An immigration officer told me I could travel to see my mother, even though I did not have my green card yet.

He was wrong.

I was detained for four hours on my way back to New Hampshire from a nursing home in Montreal because the man in the booth at the border believed my story but could not let me pass because I was supposed to have that piece of plastic with my face on it. I was led to an isolated room where I had to have my picture and fingerprints taken. Then I had to wait for a copy of a report to be written and signed by the only person with the authority to do so once he arrived on his shift.

A few words of advice to those travelling across the world's longest "undefended" border.

Never clown around when asked for your passport.

I had a friend who was an immigrant from Europe smile in the process of handing over his little blue booklet and say, "What? Do I look like a terrorist?"
An hour later he was still parked in front of the Customs office trying to figure out how to replace the panels on his car's doors.

Employ common sense when providing honest answers during your brief interview with stern looking guards from Canada, or the US.

Do not end up like the kid from Pennsylvania who replied to the simple question of "Where are you from?"

The poor kid said, "Mars."

The bus he was on was emptied, and every piece of luggage on it rummaged through before the guards involved realized that there is such a place as Mars, Pennsylvania.

Remember that as of June 1st you will need to dish out $50 to $100 for U.S. State Department cards, or papers to cross into Canada, and back into the States.

The head of our Bureau of Homeland Security is demanding such compliance. Janet Nepolitano and a few members of congress seem to be obsessed with the myth that the 9/11 terrorists crossed into the United States from Canada on that tragic day. After almost eight years these same people still want to blame Canada. They have not realized that the perpetrators did not do so, and even if they did, Canadian border guards are not the ones who process anyone entering the United States.

The new points of entry "parity" posture is just a little confusing to this Canadian expatriot who has to try and understand why immigration laws are still not being enforced upon those who have crossed illegally into this country from the "other" border.

Pardon my cynicism. I guess having spent $30,000 doing things by the book to become an American legally has jaded my attitude toward those who will eventually be offered permission to live in this country after paying a small fine for their deliberate transgression.

One last word of advice. If you plan to travel to, and from Canada this summer, and do not want any hassles at the border, make sure to bring a license, birth certificate, passport, or passport card, and a few motor vehicle friendly renditions of the American flag with you.

A slightly used 2008 Obama/Biden election sticker slapped on your bumper wouldn't hurt, either.

Leave the oranges and ham sandwiches at home.