DELTA ain't "ready when you are"!

Have you ever had one of those days when you just know that things are not going to follow your best laid plans?   I would love to have people share their air travel nightmares, so please join in on this blog after reading this unremarkable and expected account of a day of travel in the not so friendly skies.

Tuesday turned out to be the “Perfect Storm“of Murphy’s law…if anything can go insanely wrong it will!  Last week, I planned my upcoming travel agenda and decided that I would take the comfortable road and make it an easier week with only two remote destinations.  Little Rock (NO…I was not travelling to the Clinton Library) and Dallas were on my radar screen.  After researching flights I decided that itinerary would afford me with maximum impact on my agenda and a sane week of traveling.  Little did I know that FATE also had an idea of what the week should be like!

The warning signs were all there last Friday; I just missed them. 

Sitting at the Charlotte airport while waiting for my flight to be cleared for departure (3 hours late), I surfed to the Southwest Airlines page and found that they fly to Little Rock.  Perfect!  Or until the website came back that the itinerary could not be processed (5 times).  So, I decided to look at other carriers out of Manchester as it is preferable to fly locally avoiding the long trek to Boston. 

Unfortunately, my search revealed that Delta was one of the primary carriers going that way.  A sudden rush ran through my body and my heart began to beat more rapidly as I can recall every flight and some of the worst have been on Delta. 

Yes, Delta who is ‘ready when you are’ and are just waiting ‘to get you there’.  Delta, where the overdressed flight attendant pulls the curtain while they serve first class customers and the regularly dressed flight attendants serve the lepers in coach like a farmer feeding the hogs and chickens.  Don’t ask for more than that 1/3 can of soda and don’t complain about being delayed…they don’t like those questions…after all…you are JUST the customer.

Now, I know first class has more leg room and they serve liquor before you take off, but what is the big deal?  After all, if the plane crashes…….well, you know the rest of the drill!

Arriving home late last Friday night, I checked my e-mail and discovered that I had two flights booked for Tuesday…one on Delta and one on Southwest (so much for their website efficiency).  As I sat there, weary from my travels, I debated which flight to cancel.  The Southwest flight was scheduled to arrive at 1PM and the Delta flight was scheduled to arrive at 9:42AM.  Begrudgingly, I cancelled my Southwest flight and hoped for the best.

I called my client and they were elated that I would be arriving so early and planned their day around my travels.

As the weekend waned, I eagerly waited to fulfill my travel plans…wake up at 3AM, shower and be on my way to the airport at 3:45AM, arrive for my flight at 4:35AM and be at the gate waiting for the 5:50AM flight at 5AM.  The perfect plan… what a smooth trip this is going to be, I thought to myself!

I try to fly from Manchester as often as I can but really don’t find the flights to be any bargain.  Yes, Southwest is an economical alternative, but the ‘cattle car’ approach to boarding and the silly flight attendant humor that was entertaining the first couple of flights has lost its luster.  Beyond that they have the least leg room of any airline.  I will say that I prefer the 737 to the Airbus or MD-88 but the budget experience gets old after a while and the prices seem to look a lot like the premium carriers fares these days.

Arriving in Manchester, my plan was falling into place, heck; I might even have time to grab something to drink before the flight.  Approaching the Delta ticket counter, I could feel tension in the air.  I inserted my credit card into the kiosk to get my boarding pass.  It came back with an error message (3 times) and I then knew that I would be standing in line with the rest of the passengers who don’t print out their boarding passes on line. 

I waited…and waited…and waited and then the ticket agents started yelling…”Atlanta passengers over here….Cincinnati passengers over here, the Cincinnati flight has been delayed!”  OK, if it was delayed by a half hour I could still make my connecting flight to Little Rock…but…no such luck!

I approached the ticket agent and she asked me where I was going…I responded…”Little Rock” and then she asked again…”Where are you  going!”…I answered again.  Noticeably aggravated that this delay was impacting her anticipated routine, I stood down and waited for her solution.

 My 5:50AM flight with an arrival in Little Rock at 9:42AM suddenly morphed to:  Leave at 6:50AM arrive in Cincinnati and leave at 10:50AM for Atlanta arriving at 12:15PM and leave there for Little Rock at 2:00PM for a Central Time arrival in Little Rock at 2:42PM (3:42 EST).  So much for a great start to the day…but I agreed to the itinerary.  Then, she pushed me a little too far and said:  “now when you arrive at these other airports, you will have to wait for an agent to assign your seat”. 

Knowing that means standing in line behind stand by passengers and everyone else that would obviously have issues; I was aggravated.  I replied…”Oh come on!”  The agent replied in a snappy voice…”there are plenty of seats available!!!”   I replied that was not my point and walked away with my new found destiny in my hands!

Resigned to the fact that this was just how it was going to be, I called my client and left a voice mail message that I would be (5 hours) late; I was glad that they did not pick up as I was embarrassed.  Then, I proceeded to screening at the gate.

Over the last year I have been through full screening only once…now we can make that twice.  Yep, I was informed that I was going for the full body rubdown as the screener screamed:  “male attendant to screening”.  No big deal but I could see my day unfolding before my very eyes and it was not pretty.

Waiting at the gate, a familiar face arrived to herd the sheep; zone by zone onto the plane. Yes, it was the totally frustrated ticket agent that I had experienced earlier.  Guess what?  She was the one boarding our flight, which was now leaving an additional 15 minutes late.  Finally, with everyone on board we were enroute to Cincinnati. 

This flight was just the first of three and it felt like I was on a ride at Six Flags; one of the roughest rides in recent memory.  The landing was one of the scariest as I clutched the arms of the seat, and waited for the plane to come to a stop.  Finally we arrived at the gate and it was time to find the next flight. 

Arriving at the gate for the Atlanta flight, you know, the one with plenty of seats...it was a full flight.  This flight left 15 minutes late.  Being an observer of people and their behavior, I like to play this game; I look around at the waiting passengers and try to guess who I will be sitting beside.  On this day, a young Caucasian guy in his 20’s in full home boy costume including pants with legs that were large enough for three people was sitting across the room.  I thought, anyone but him, as he listened to his iPod and moved his hands like a rapper.

Finally, boarding began.  I looked at my ticket and started towards my seat.  I shrugged my shoulders and laughed out loud as I noticed that I was sitting with…”home boy”.  The entire flight he was writing down lyrics and moving his body to the tunes on his iPod and he was moving his hand like he was a DJ with a turntable.  Everyone else around him was snickering as he flaunted his ‘coolness’.  I was embarrassed for him!

Then came Atlanta…another delayed flight by 25 minutes.  Once on board a ticket agent came onto the plane and asked for two or three volunteers to take a later flight and receive a $200 voucher because the plane was out of balance and overweight.  That inspired a lot of confidence in the passengers. The air conditioning was not working and the guy sitting to my right started in on his experiences with Delta.  Then, a man came onto the plane and entered the cockpit, but the two pilots were already in there, what is this about we thought?

Putting 2+2 together and noticing that the co-pilot looked as if he was almost ready to shave, my neighbor and I decided that this was a pilot in training and the extra guy was an instructor.  Suddenly, all three of them were enclosed in the cockpit!

We laughed about this until the takeoff as we rolled…and rolled.., and rolled down the runway thinking; is he ever going to pull up?  Sure enough, we climbed jerkily and steeply into the clouds, and it was rough.  We weren’t laughing at that point; it was obvious that this was a driver’s education lesson masquerading as a commercial flight.

Once we climbed to a nice altitude, things smoothed out and in my mind I kept repeating…”it’s almost over…”it’s almost over”.  We started our descent into Little Rock and things began to deteriorate as the ride was now more like a thrill ride at Busch Gardens.  This was the worst landing that I have ever experienced.  As we approached the runway, I noticed that we speeded up and kept on going without the landing gear engaging the pavement below and then suddenly….BANG and the whole plane shook as the reverse thrust and brakes were applied….it seemed like this ride would never end.

As I exited the plane I told the instructor???....’nice ride’ and he snickered.  I can tell you one thing; I was not humored by any part of this day.  Just when I thought the worst was over, I still had to rent a car.

Proceeding to Thrifty, I stood in line behind a person having an issue with their rental for 15 minutes and then the customer service person signaled for me to approach.  He asked if I had a car preference and I replied:  “anything but a PT Cruiser”.  PT Cruisers seem to be very prevalent with rental companies and sometimes, that is the only thing left; they are the worst car on the road and they are aggravating to drive.  So he responded that he would call the garage and get a Subaru Forrester.  So I waited…and waited…and waited and the attendant from the garage comes in with keys to, guess what?  A PT Cruiser!

The counter person apologized and told me it would just be a few more minutes.  He left the counter and told the new counter person that I was waiting.  At this point it had been 35 minutes and was 4:15PM.  I waited…and waited…and waited as she helped customer after customer.  Now it had been 50 minutes with no rental agreement or keys in sight.   I watched for the whole time while people stepped up to the other rental company counters and were handed keys and left to find their vehicles.

 The very next guest that she offered to help knew what was going on and looked over at me and winked, saying:  “do you have anything you want to say to this young lady”?

I am a nice person but I do have a breaking point so I looked at her and said:  “can we cancel this transaction; I just want to go to another rental company”?   She became snappy and said something like: “this isn’t my fault, I walked into this mess” and I told her that I just could not wait.  Immediately, she ripped off the receipt handed it to me and threw the keys on the counter in front of me.  I was in shock and could not understand why I waited for this for so long when it was right there.

Here is the point…We do not control the actions of other people nor do we have influence over fate and destiny, but other people do influence the quality of our day.

 Some will blame air travel boondoggles on deregulation and others will say that deregulation doesn’t matter.  My opinion is that it is just poor management, short staffing and careless attitude.

As far as Delta is concerned…”we get you there” alright…when we damned well please.  Delta is definitely not “ready when you are” and no one “loves the way they fly”.

At the end of every flight, the captain or flight crew comes on the intercom and says something like this:  “Another on time arrival, we know that you have many choices when you fly and we appreciate you choosing…airlines for your travel needs”.

 I live for the day when they come on and say:  “Another delayed and screwed up flight and arrival time; we know that you have many choices when you fly and this experience should convince you that you should fly another airline the next time.  Unlike this poorly planned operation, we hope that the next airline that you choose will come closer to meeting the expectation of your travel needs.”

In the end, I have to laugh because it is ridiculous that this many things could go wrong in a day.  I made it to my final destination (7 hours late) and my client was happy to see me and understood.  The aggravation is that it wasted a full work day in the air; my day controlled by FATE.  The only good thing that came out of this was the start of a good blog piece that I finished today.

I would love to hear everyone’s experience and stories about their travels on the airlines.  That would make a very interesting string.